Missed chances
by likingthistoomuch
Summary: Victorian AU.


**I have taken massive, as in massive liberties with the Victorian period and the practices while writing this fic. This just refused to leave my head and I rushed and wrote it all down. Not beta read, so kindly forgive those mistakes. I am sure I would find them even when I read this the 456th time but hey! life happens.**

 **Please enjoy and leave reviews, they make my day!**

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"Miss Hooper. I am so very glad to see you."

"Colonel James. I am glad to see you are doing well."

"May I be so bold as to ask for the next dance?"

Molly hesitated. Her fortune had taken a turn since the last year she was at such a ball; the ton didn't let her forget that.

"I don't think that would be appropriate Colonel. I am here not as an invitee but as Lady Adler's companion." At his confused expression, she added, "Lady Adler hates to call me a maid, but that's what I am now."

"Ah. I did hear about your aunt and uncle, my sincerest condolences."

"Thank you."

The man looked at her plain, ring less hand and looked at her in shock. In hesitant tones, he offered his apologies for her current state of affairs.

"It is what it is, Colonel. I do not blame Lord Holmes, some things are just not meant to be."

The young colonel focussed his bright eyes absolutely on her, a beautiful smile slowly illuminating his face.

"Then we _must_ dance, Miss Hooper. Fortune never favours those down on their luck, but we mustn't stop trying."

There was such sincerity in his words, such honesty in his eyes that Molly threw caution and propriety to the winds and accepted his offer to dance. As they moved around the room, ignoring the scandalised looked on the face of the people, they also missed the happy smile on Lady Adler's face.

As well as the hardened face of the younger Lord Holmes.

XX

What games was destiny planning to play on her further, she mused as she saw the dancers move around the room. This same place had been the source of happiness that had lasted a wonderful three years, before war and illness took it all away. Now on her own again, she had returned to London and faced the ignominy of being in the same hall, amongst the same people of the ton, but in a rather different status.

She had been a newly engaged girl the first year, the next a newly orphaned girl who had her engagement broken but who also happened to meet the man who would be her husband. And now again, as a young widow, with nothing much to her name and in the company of the same Lady Adler, this time as the governess for her pretty twin daughters.

Daughters who at three were a handful and had sneaked out into the hall filled with dancing men and women in their finest.

"There, you two. Right back we head, or else there would be no story at bedtime for the whole next week!"

She had learned long ago to ignore their pouts and as she led them away from the sounds and celebrations, she heard a deep voice call her name.

"Molly...err, Mrs James."

She knew that voice only too well, it had haunted her till the day her husband replaced its barbed tones with his own, loving ones.

"Lord Holmes. You will have to excuse me, I have to escort these pretty ladies back to their rooms."

"Never mind that, Molly. Tonight the whole arrangement is tedious, I would prefer to call an early night with the girls. How about that, you two monkeys?" Lady Adler had intervened, not bothering to hide the look of intent on her face. There was no protest that could hold water in front of the twin's jubilation, so Molly was left in the corridor, away from the dance and facing the man who had once been her fiancé.

"Please accept my deepest condolences."

"Thank you, Lord Holmes. You are very kind."

She refused to look up, to see his eyes that had at one time mesmerised her so completely. To be honest, she was scared of her own susceptibility, of his ability to sneak up behind the walls she put up. She had had a lifetime of getting burnt by his acerbic tongue, she just couldn't face any more of it.

There was an awkward silence as she looked anywhere but at him, while from the corner of her eye she could see him stare at her.

"I was an idiot, a bloody moron."

The viciousness of his words shocked her enough to look at him, her eyes wide.

"Lord Holmes!"

"It is true. And I have never regretted anything more in my life than the pain I gave you."

"Lord Holmes, you were offered an out from our engagement when my uncle died, and you took it. We can only be held sincere to our own heart, and you did what you wanted. That's the least one can expect."

"How?" he ground out, moving closer. "How do you always do that? Why do you always forgive? You've done it all your life, and what have you got in exchange?"

She didn't back away, feeling that her doing so would give him power over her. She didn't want to be in that position again.

"Peace. Quiet. They are underrated by many, but I hold these emotions in high regard."

He had captured her gaze now; she would've been unable to look away even if she'd wanted.

"Can you forgive me again?"

"There is nothing to forgive."

"I am an arrogant, selfish man. And I admit now that you always tethered me, kept me grounded. I have been floundering all these years and I admit I was wrong to let you go. But you looked so relieved, and at peace dancing with the colonel that night…I couldn't speak up."

His confession stunned her. She could see the honesty in his eyes clearly accompanied by a dose of uncertainty, a new emotion on him.

"Lord Holmes-"

"And then I saw you at Irene's again last week…I _had_ to leave abruptly. And not because I couldn't stand you Molly but because it was all I could do to not pull you in my arms."

Her eyes had widened at the use of her name, a liberty that he had always taken. She couldn't breathe; this mustn't be happening. Things like this simply didn't happen to women like her, what with her current status of a widow. Is that why he was saying what he was saying?

"You can never accuse me of showing pity or being considerate, Molly. And no, your current social standing has nothing to do with it. I ask you because I have a chance to make good on my earlier mistake and I am selfish enough to try again. But will you? Will you let me love you again?...Will you marry me?"

She should say no. It had been almost two years since Thomas had passed away, but she should still give herself time to think. To weigh the sincerity in his words, to weigh on the propriety of the proposal. She should move away from him and tell him to call her in the daylight when he would've had time to rethink and call out on his madness. Maybe they could meet under chaperoned circumstances, maybe someone would intervene and bring Lord Holmes to his senses.

She should've done any of the above, instead she heard herself whisper a quiet "Yes."

He took her hands in his own and kissed them before pulling her in his arms and kissing her. There was nothing chaste in the kiss he bestowed on her, in fact he looked proud as a peacock as he lead her back to the ballroom, looking mussed and with red cheeks.

They had eyes only for each other, as the butler announced, "Lord Holmes, and his fiancee Molly James."


End file.
